Decorating the nursery and buying the baby essentials may take a lot of attention, but spending quality time with your partner before the baby arrives is a very important aspect of preparing for fatherhood.
Whether your baby is nearly here or you’re at the start of the pregnancy journey, the remainder of the pregnancy is your final weeks and months alone as a couple, free to do what you want. Once the baby arrives, your own quality time together as a couple will be confined to the odd date night or weekend away here and there.
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Why it’s important to spend time together as a couple
Having a baby requires so much planning and organisation that couples often forget to be exactly that - a couple - especially towards the end of the pregnancy.
While this time is often filled with a huge amount of excitement as you look forward to meeting your baby, it’s important to recognise that your lives are about to change forever. Realistically, it’s going to be many years before you can spontaneously make plans together again, to be romantic, to just be with each other.
Spending quality time together can also be seen as a very effective way of actually preparing for when the baby does arrive, too.
The first few weeks and months can be incredibly tough - you’re both exhausted from lack of sleep, hormones are all over the place, you might be struggling to adapt to your new life. Having a closer relationship and connection with your partner during that period can help. It helps you to be more understanding of each other.
10 brilliant and romantic things to do with your partner before your baby comes
Let's get down to it. Here are 10 brilliant ways you and your partner can spend some quality (and dare I say, 'romantic') time together as a couple before the impending arrival of your new baby.
1. Babymoon
The babymoon is a short holiday some couples take before the birth of their first baby and has become increasingly popular over the past decade or so.
If you’re planning on flying, most airlines will allow pregnant women to fly up to 36 weeks or 32 weeks if they’re carrying twins (or more), and providing there have been no complications during the pregnancy. It may be a good idea to take the pregnancy records with you, and be sure you have medical insurance in place to cover the risk of preterm birth.
It can be as extravagant and expensive or cheap and cheerful as you like, depending on your budget. It can be abroad or a staycation - it’s up to you. Where you go and what type of babymoon you do may entirely depend on how far along in the pregnancy your partner is. It could be an opportunity to tick off a bucket list destination, or you may prefer to spend a few days doing nothing but chilling out by the pool.
Many consider the second trimester to be the sweet spot for a babymoon - most tend to find horrible pregnancy symptoms like morning sickness have subsided by then, and she’s not too far along that she’s uncomfortable a lot of the time.
2. Night away
If you’ve left it too late to plan a full-on babymoon, or what you wanted to do was out of budget, you could still have a night away somewhere. Maybe a fancy hotel with a fancy dinner, or a cosy little cottage in the countryside.
A night away can still provide you with plenty of rest and relaxation, as well as an opportunity to really connect with each other.
3. Go to the cinema
It might sound like a standard date-night right now, but going to the cinema together will feel like a ‘big night out’ for the next few years.
In a world of streaming and TikTok, cinema still does a remarkable job of really bringing you into the story of the film you’re watching. It shuts the door on the outside world for a few hours, almost making you leave your stresses and worries at the door.
If you’re regular cinema-goers, try to get in as many films as you can before the big day comes!
4. Netflix binge
Although the cinema has a certain magic about it, there’s nothing quite like curling up on the sofa together to binge watch your favourite series. And guess what?! It’s going to be a while before you’re binge watching anything together when the baby comes. You’ll often be awake at different times, and even when you are awake together, you’ll probably be too tired to concentrate on it!
So get a takeaway in, light some candles, get the comfy blanket and snuggle into each other on the sofa.
5. Go to a fancy restaurant
It’s an excellent excuse to get dressed up and head for a fancy meal at that swish restaurant you’ve always fancied. You could also combine it with a night away or a spa day, or perhaps even a visit to the theatre.
As long as your budget allows, it might be nice to go all out on this meal. Don’t skip starters or dessert, and try not to look at the prices on the menu. Just enjoy some amazing company and amazing food!
6. Cook together
You don’t have to go out for a fancy meal to spend quality time with your partner. There’s something quite romantic about cooking a meal together, particularly when there’s some atmospheric music on and perhaps a bottle of (non-alcoholic) wine to accompany it.
Be sure to make it from scratch! Maybe it’s her favourite dish that you’ve always cooked part-made, or perhaps you could recreate the first meal you ever cooked for her. Or maybe there’s a certain dish you’ve both always wanted to try but never got around to.
And finally, if you’re guilty of sitting on the sofa to eat your meals, make sure this one is at the dinner table with some music and candles.
7. Spa day
Rest and relaxation is often top of the agenda for a pregnant woman, so a couple’s spa day could be the perfect way to spend some time together.
There’s something oddly bonding about lying down and doing nothing together, whether it’s having a couple’s massage (pregnancy massage for her, please!) or having a lie-down in a comfy, white robe.
You could even combine your spa day with the babymoon or night away.
8. Exercise together
Gentle exercise is recommended for pregnant women, and it’s an important part of becoming a dad, too. Whether it’s something you already do, or a new activity entirely, it gives you both something new to do together but also aids for mental and physical wellbeing as you prepare to become parents.
It doesn’t have to be anything vigorous at all, either. It could be something as simple as a regular walk to the park, a beach, lakes, forest or anywhere else. It gives you the chance to get out to nature and spend time with each other, even talk about the future impending arrival and your new life together.
9. Sex life
Every woman is different, so it’s difficult to say whether or not this will be your experience. Most women tend to see a drop in their libido during the first trimester as they adapt to the hormonal, physical and emotional impact of pregnancy.
However, once some of the early pregnancy symptoms slow down, many women see their sex drive return in the second trimester (and even experience a boost).
Being romantic is a lot harder to do when there’s a little human around the place. We know that sex is an important aspect of a close relationship, so use this time to get intimate… maybe tick off a few of those sexual bucket list items!
10. Put the phone away
So many of us are guilty of being glued to our phones. And you could try implementing some phone-free time every day so that, even if you’re not doing anything ‘special’, you’re making sure your focus and attention is on each other or the same things.
Even if you’re just having a night watching TV, at least you’re paying attention to the same thing and able to talk about it, rather than one (or both!) of you getting distracted and ending up scrolling through your phone the entire night.
FAQs
How long does a babymoon last?
There are no ‘rules’ around what a babymoon is or how long it lasts. Most people tend to take shorter trips than say a honeymoon or a ‘regular’ holiday.
However, it depends entirely on your preferences and circumstances. It could be a two-week long holiday abroad, sitting by the pool and on the beach, or it could be a weekend break exploring a new city. It could even be an overnight stay at a country manor hotel and a spa day.
What's a romantic activity to do as a couple before the baby comes?
In truth, most of these activities are either inherently romantic or could be made romantic (hello Netflix and Chill!). Even exercising together - maybe 'romantic' isn't exactly the right word, but plenty of couples find it quite arousing to exercise together.
What's a cheap way to spend time together before the baby comes?
Of course, we know that a babymoon, a spa day or a meal at a fancy restaurant can stretch the monthly finances. But that doesn't mean you can't spend quality time together. That's why we included 'put the phones away'. Just being aware and mindful that your time alone as a couple in running out can help you to really focus your energy and attention on being present.
If you're able to do that, then anything you do together is quality time together.
