We all experience relationship problems from time to time. Every day life causes plenty of stress, especially when you have children, and you find your relationship is suffering.

But when does a good relationship become a broken relationship? What leads a one partner to search 'how to fix a relationship' in an attempt to prevent the break-up or divorce they can see coming over the horizon? What is the difference between a rough patch and a damaged relationship?

Speaking to DaddiLife, Rachel Childs, founder of Parents that Work, said: "In the chaos and delight of starting a family, its easy for your child to take centre stage and be the focal point of your attention.

"But have you considered that it's your relationship that’s the beating heart of your family? Remembering to keep investing in yourself and your relationship creates a positive environment for your children, a stronger foundation for an equal parenting partnership and helps you stay connected."

If you want to save your marriage or get your broken relationship back on track, this guide draws on expert advice and the real-life stories of dads from the DaddiLife Community who have been through relationship troubles and now have a stronger romantic relationships.

What does a healthy relationship look like?

While every marriage and relationship is different, there are some key things that make a healthy relationship or successful relationship.

Honest and open communication

Every relationship relies on honest communication to survive, and a lack of communication often leads to relationship problems.

In a healthy relationship, you talk openly and honestly with each other in order to communicate your feelings and emotions. You use words without fear of the other person diminishing your opinion, and embrace each other's viewpoints.

Without strong communication, it's almost impossible to have a close bond.

Rachel Childs adds: "To be honest, you need to know how to say what you need or think without it sounding like an attack. Be clear on the outcome you want and how you want to have the conversation.

"Focus on “I” not “you”. If you need help, try “I need help keeping on top of all the kids' continuous admin. Can we talk about how we can divide this up between us?”

Trust

Trust is another essential component of relationships and marriages, and allows for a relationship to become a true partnership of equals. It's often trust that leads to a feeling of commitment between you and your partner or spouse.

Boundaries

Boundaries are an important way of recognising that although your relationship unites you as one couple, you and your partner are your own person with your own personalities and lives. Healthy boundaries include things like providing time and space for friendships outside of the relationship, not monitoring each other's phones or finances, or respecting personal space.

Gratitude

Expressing gratitude for your relationship (and the other things in your life) not only leaves us with our own positive feelings, it shows our partner that we appreciate them, both as an individual and everything that they bring to our lives.

A good sex life

Intimacy and affection is an important part of a healthy marriage or relationship. It's important to note that a 'good' sex life doesn't just mean how often you have sex. It's about carving out that quality time together to connect physically.

Naturally, a good sex life depends on you both being satisfied. You should be aware of each other's enjoyment, understanding what they do and don't like. In a healthy relationship, partners are also confident that they can speak open and honestly about their sex life; discussing ways to improve things in the bedroom.

Unfortunately, the reality is that some people seek another person to satisfy them if they aren't satisfied at home and their partner isn't willing to listen.

Respect

Mutual respect is something that underpins all factors that contribute to a healthy relationship. Respect in a relationship means:

• You treat each other as equal partners

• Are understanding of your partner's feelings and needs

• You can forgive them when they make a mistake

• Taking an interest in their hobbies and passions

• You have and show empathy for them

• And much more

Signs you have a broken relationship

Sometimes there are things that make it plain and obvious your relationship is in trouble - maybe there's been infidelity, or you're fighting all the time.

Sometimes, however, it's not obvious that you're living in a broken relationship . Issues brew slowly over time and, before you know it, separation or divorce are very real possibilities and tackling your relationship problems becomes the most important thing.

To an extent, the signs of a unhealthy relationship are the reverse of the signs of a healthy relationship:

• Communication has broken down

• You don't trust each other

• You don't respect each other

• You don't show gratitude to each other

• You don't have reasonable boundaries

• There's no intimacy

• You've lost your emotional connection

• You don't make an effort to spend time together

• You don't support each other or have very different goals

• You've started thinking about a future without your partner
  
  

Check out our guide on the 7 stages of a dying marriage.

Signs your relationship isn't worth saving

One thing many couples in a broken relationship struggle with is understanding whether or not their relationship is worth saving, and recognising when it's time to leave the relationship.

Some choose to stay together 'for the kids'. But award-winning relationship expert and founder of The Matchmaker UK, Lara Besbrode, warns that maintaining a damaged relationship for the sake of the children can be detrimental for both parents and children in the long-term.

She says: "[It] can result in wasted time and energy, perpetuating an unhealthy dynamic that ultimately affects everyone involved.

"Parents who are unhappy in their relationship may not be able to provide the level of care and support that their children need. Additionally, children can sense tension and discord between their parents, even if it's not explicitly expressed, which can have negative psychological effects."

Here are a few signs that trying to fix your broken relationship (or at least trying to) just isn't worth it:

• Your issues aren't caused by external factors (work stress, financial problems, physical or mental health issues, sleep deprivation)

• You've worked to dicx your relationship but nothing has changed

• One of you doesn't want to fix the relationship

• You don't feel respected or valued

• You want different things

• Your core values are different

• You're in a abusive or toxic relationship

How to stop fighting

Couples and parents fight for all sorts of reasons. There's a lot of stress in every day life for parents.

It's impossible to go through life without arguing, and there's even a case to suggest disagreements are important for a happy relationship. However, constant fighting may be a sign of a broken relationship. It can leave you feeling desperate. Fights that involve hurtful comments, bringing up past arguments or issues, blaming, and the need to 'win' aren't healthy or productive.

Lara explains "exposure to conflict can distort children's understanding of healthy relationships, leading them to replicate negative patterns in their own future interactions".

She believes it's important to identify the root causes so that you can tackle the wider issues in order to not only improve your relationship, but help protect the family unit into the future.

Check out our in-depth guide for a range of practical solutions to help you stop fighting with your partner.

How to rebuild trust in a relationship

Sometimes it's specific act that destroys the trust in a relationship and causes long-term issues.

Infidelity is the most obvious one. Cheating is the most common reason a person loses trust in their partner or spouse. But there are other ways trust becomes an issue in relationships - failing to tell your partner or actively lying to them about substance abuse or financial problems, or ignoring the other's parenting, for example.

Trust is something that takes a long time to build in the first place, so trying to rebuild trust after a breakdown can take even longer. If you are the reason for the loss of trust, accepting responsibility for your mistake is essential. You need to give your partner time, apologise (duh!), reflect on why you did what you did, listen to how your partner feels and what they need, and communicate.

Rebuilding trust in a relationship isn't an easy road. But it's one that many couples have successful travelled in the past.

How to rebuild romantic relationships

Relationships don't always hit problems because of a betrayal or constant fighting. Sometimes two people simply grow apart - the lack of romantic connection over a sustained period may mean that feelings switch to loving someone as a friend and parent to their children rather than being in love with them.

For some couples, that's enough to end their marriage and they're perfectly comfortable with that. However, many recognise that they made a commitment to each other and want to make every effort to rebuilding that bond physically and emotionally.

If you've fallen out of love with your partner, but you still want to save your marriage, try the following:

• Identify what made you fall in love at the start of your relationship

• Spend time away from each other - absence makes the heart grow fonder!

• Focus on passion

• Make time for yourselves use the 222 rule or 777 rule (more on those shortly)

• Rebuild trust (if that's been an issue)

• Try to meet each other's needs

• Be present when you're together

Try a relationship programme

Marriage counselling or couples therapy can be extremely costly. The average session costs around £70 in the UK and typically last around six sessions, meaning couples will spend an average of £630 on couples therapy. Online therapy is usually cheaper, but can still prove costly over time.

So, it's understandable that many couples don't have the money to pay for it, or view it as an absolute last resort for when they're in a broken relationship nearly beyond repair

That has given rise to a number of marriage or relationship programmes, courses designed to lead you in the right direction when it comes to saving your relationship. You could think of it as at-home relationship education.

They can either be done by one person, focusing on personal growth and self awareness of how they can be a better partner. Or, they can be done as a couple when both partners recognise they need to make an effort to be better.

Check out our comparison of three of the leading marriage programmes and see which marriage programme is best for you.

Naturally, relationship programmes address a myriad of potential issues. Some couples seek professional help to tackle their specific relationship issues effectively.

30-day marriage challenge

The 30-day marriage challenge is designed to help couples build a stronger relationship by encouraging a bit of effort to show a partner they are loved, regardless of whether you're married or not.

They can be an effective tool to help fix a broken relationship, or to strengthen an already happy relationship.

Each day consists of a prompt ranging from small things like 'tell your partner three things you love about them', to planning an extravagant date night and writing a love letter.

Although the challenge is often done by one person in secret, sometimes couples do take on the challenge together.

You could also try your hands at our 30-day intimacy challenge, too!

Try the 222 rule or 777 rule

The 222 rule and 777 rule are becoming increasingly popular methods of helping many couples invest time in themselves, encouraging them to spend more quality time as a couple away from the children.

That's right, we're talking date nights for only you and your spouse or partner.

The 222 rule means you go on a date every two weeks, have a night or weekend away every two months, and go a week-long holiday every two years.

The 777 rule is usually more popular with childless couples because it's a more intense. It sees you doing those same things every seven days, seven weeks and seven months.

FAQs

How to fix a relationship when only one of you wants to?

It's incredibly difficult to fix your relationship when only one partner wants to. It often depends on where in the journey you are.

If one person raises issues with the relationship and warns that separation is inevitable if those problems aren't addressed, then there's a better likelihood of your saving it.

If your partner has told you they want to separate, it's likely that they have thought long and hard about it and have already reached a point of no return in their eyes.

How do you know when you need to seek professional help?

It's very difficult to know when your relationship needs professional help in the form of a couples therapist. For some people, that is the first option they will take. However, others prefer to try to save their relationship without couples counselling first.

If you've spent time and effort dealing (or trying to deal) with your issues but are still experiencing problems - and you both still want to make it work - it may be time to talk to a professional.

What's the difference between marriage programmes and online therapy?

Online therapy is simply a remote version of in-person therapy using a video conferencing platform. It consists of a therapist or counsellor asking questions and the married couple or partners discussing their feelings, emotions and issues.

Marriage programmes are courses - usually consisting of reading material and a variety of tasks or activities - designed to help you save your relationship through personal growth. They do offer a less-tailored approach, but still provide advice and tips on a whole host of relationship issues, and are typically much cheaper that professional therapy.