Sleep Training Methods: Cry It Out Method

You’ve moved your baby to their own room and now you need to think about sleep training. Do you go Cry It Out or Ferber? Maybe even Check and Console…

The reality is that for the first few months of your baby’s life, they’ve been sleeping in a moses basket or crib next to your bed. When they wake at night, you or your partner are immediately on hand to deal with it. 

Now that they’re heading to their own room, that’s no longer the case. 

But which method do you pick? Which is right for you and your family? 

What is sleep training?

Sleep training is a simple concept, but one that is not so simple to master. 

It’s the process of training your child to fall asleep on their own, both at bedtime and when they wake up at night. It’s considered to be a vital step towards your baby sleeping through the night*. 

There are a range of sleep training methods available to parents, each with their own ways of working, and pros and cons. There is no correct sleep training method. Some work well for some babies, and others work well for other babies. 

In fact, the method you choose may reflect your own beliefs and parenting style, rather than anything to do with your baby.

*It’s important to note that ‘sleeping through the night’ doesn’t mean sleeping all night. At this age, if a baby sleeps more than six hours without waking, it is considered to be ‘sleeping through the night’. 

What is the Cry It Out method?

Sleep training methods typically fall into two categories; consolation and ‘leave them to it’. The main arguments being that a baby needs comfort in order to sleep, and that if you rush in and pick up your baby every time they cry, they’ll learn that’s how to get your attention. 

As you can imagine, ‘Cry It Out’ (also known as the ‘extinction’ method) is firmly in the ‘leave them to it’ camp. 

So how does it work?

How does the Cry It Out method work?

Unlike the Ferber method, ‘Cry It Out’ suggests that parents put their baby to bed, say goodnight and leave their baby to fall asleep, regardless of how much they’re crying. 

In order for this method to work, it’s vital that your baby’s needs are met before putting them to bed. For example, making sure they’re fed, relaxed and comfortable. 

Just like the Ferber method, a consistent bedtime routine is absolutely essential to the Cry It Out method - perhaps even more so because it doesn’t allow for that parental interaction and comfort.

It’s important to note that you are allowed to return to your child if there is something genuinely wrong with them. You may well have already learned their different cries, so will know if it’s a dirty nappy cry or something similar. 

An example Cry It Out routine

Your baby’s bedtime routine will always be specific to you, your family and your circumstances. It’s what works for you and them. 

But let’s look at a great example. 

6:00pm - Bath time: The bedtime routine should always start with a bath. Not only is a great signal that bedtime is coming, the warm water helps to induce sleep

6:10pm - Pyjamas: A cosy towel to dry off with, a quick baby massage, and a fresh set of pyjamas.

6:15pm - The last feed: Your baby’s final feed of the day should happen at least 30 minutes before they go to bed. It’s important that your baby doesn’t associate milk with sleep.

6:45pm - Final preparations: Take your baby to their room, get them set up in the swaddle blanket or sleep sack and get the environment ready. Curtains closed, dimmed lights, and a comfortable temperature.

6:50pm - Bedtime story: At this age, you can read anything - the most important thing is that your voice is calm, soft and gentle.

6:55 - 7:00pm - Time for sleep: It’s time to put your baby down and say goodnight. You can sing them a lullaby or gently rub their head for a minute or two, first. However, it’s important that they do not fall asleep while you’re doing so. If you notice their eyes dropping, stop and leave the room. 

7:00pm onwards - Cry it out: If your baby starts crying, try to ignore it*.

*Over time, you will learn to recognise certain cries and will be able to identify when something is really wrong. Perhaps they’re in pain or they’ve soiled their nappy. In these circumstances, it’s okay to return to your baby because there is genuinely something wrong that will prevent them from sleeping.

The pros and cons of the Cry It Out method

There’s no doubt that the Cry It Out method is seen as controversial. 

Some even perceive it to be cruel, with some pediatricians claiming it can cause emotional damage to babies. Equally, it can be distressing for parents to fight the urge to comfort their baby when they’re crying. And it can be very difficult to ignore those cries and get on with your evening. 

However, on the other hand, many parents find it to be one of the most effective ways of sleep training their babies. They find that allowing their baby to cry it out reduces the reliance and expectation on parents much quicker than with other methods. 

When can you start the Cry It Out method?

The Cry It Out method is no different to any other sleep training method. It can be started once your baby is six months old. As we mentioned earlier, it’s intrinsically linked with moving your baby to their own room - because you don’t want to spend all night getting up, out of bed, to deal with every single night wake. 

Sleep training is not effective before the six month mark because their circadian rhythm - the body’s natural clock - has not developed yet. Neither has their sense of object permanence; the understanding that something (or someone is still there even if they can’t be seen).  

FAQs

How long should I let my baby cry?

This is often the most difficult consideration for parents choosing the Cry It Out method; how long is too long?

There is no right or wrong answer, because every child is different and it may depend on contextual factors. One night your baby may be particularly tired, stop crying and fall asleep after 10 minutes. The next night, they may have had a bit more sleep during the day and take longer to stop crying and fall asleep at night. 

What if I think something is wrong? 

If you think something is wrong, you should check on your baby. Your baby’s health and safety is far more important than sleep training. 

That being said, by now, you may well be familiar with some of your baby’s cries, which should help you to identify if or when something is really wrong. 

How long does sleep training take?

Regardless of the method used, sleep training typically takes around a week. If you do not see an improvement within a week, take a break and try again in a few weeks time. Or, consider an alternative method.