There was a time when ‘are you going to co-sleep?’ would be a common question for expectant parents. And photos of newborns sleeping on their dad’s chest, while dad sleeps on the sofa, were lauded as adorable.
Now, research has turned the conversation around. In fact, a lot of people might raise an eyebrow if you tell them you’re co-sleeping with your baby, because there is greater awareness of the risks associated with co-sleeping.
It has become an increasingly controversial topic in the parenting and childcare spaces.
But what exactly is co-sleeping? Why is it risky? And can it be done safely?
We’ll explore it all over the course of this guide.
Table Of Contents
What is co-sleeping?
Co-sleeping is a term used to describe when a parent sleeps on the same surface as their baby, whether on purpose or not.
There are also individual terms for different types of co-sleeping. Bed sharing refers to an adult and baby sleeping in the same bed for most of the night. Sofa sharing refers to when an adult falls asleep on a sofa or armchair with their baby asleep in their arms or on their chest (this is incredibly dangerous and should not happen).
Some also consider room sharing to be part of co-sleeping - this is where baby and parents sleep in the same room, but on their own sleep surfaces.
Is co-sleeping safe?
Co-sleeping is inherently more risky than having your baby sleep in their own sleep space, like a moses basket, cot or crib. Various studies have shown an increased risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) during co-sleeping.
In fact, if you fall asleep on the sofa or in an armchair with your baby on your chest or in your arms, the risk of SIDS is a frightening 50x higher.
The reason co-sleeping is so risky is largely because of the greater risk of suffocation or overheating. For example, your baby is asleep in your arms on the sofa. They’re in a perfectly healthy and safe position. But you fall asleep and your arms relax. They slip out of position and are now facing towards your body and cannot breathe.
Why do parents co-sleep with their baby if it’s risky?
Plenty of parents continue to co-sleep, despite the risks. But why?
Some parents do it intentionally, either because they don’t have space for a moses basket in their bedroom or because their baby has a lot of sleep issues and co-sleeping seems to be the only way anyone can get any sleep at all.
As we discussed earlier, some parents find themselves co-sleeping unintentionally; falling asleep together after a cuddle in bed, or on the sofa.
There are ways in which we can make co-sleeping safer, which we’ll explore later in this guide.
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You should never co-sleep if…
Before we explore how to make co-sleeping safer, there are a number of circumstances in which you should never co-sleep, whether planned or unplanned.
You should never co-sleep if...
...you have consumed alcohol
If you or your partner has drunk any alcohol, do not co-sleep.
...you smoke
If you or your partner smokes, or your baby was around smoking during the pregnancy, do not co-sleep.
...your baby was premature (or was less than 5½ lbs at birth)
If your baby was born prematurely (before week 37 of pregnancy), or weighed less than 5½ lbs (2.5kg) at birth, do not co-sleep.
...you have taken drugs
If you or your partner has taken any drugs, or medication that can cause drowsiness, do not co-sleep.
Because the risk of SIDS is so much higher, experts recommend you NEVER fall asleep with your baby on a sofa or armchair. If your baby has fallen asleep on you while you’re sitting on the sofa and you feel tired, it’s ALWAYS best to try to move them to their own sleep space.
How to co-sleep safer
It is always best to prepare and plan ahead for co-sleeping, whether you’re making a conscious decision to co-sleep in advance, or find yourself co-sleeping one night because your baby isn’t settling.
Although co-sleeping remains riskier than your baby sleeping in their own space, there are a number of things you can do to make co-sleeping in your bed much safer.
Never leave your baby alone
If you’re planning to co-sleep ahead of time, some parents may put their baby to sleep in their bed before returning later. However, you should never leave your baby alone in an adult bed. As they develop, they become more mobile and the risks inherently grow.
Keep pillows and bedding away
Just because they’re sleeping in your bed does not mean you can keep everything the same. Pillows and adult bedding pose suffocation risks to your baby. So it’s vital that these are kept away from your baby.
Install a guard rail
As mentioned before, babies become more mobile when they sleep as they get older. A guard rail will prevent them from accidentally rolling out of bed.
Do not place baby between parents
Some parents may think to have baby sleep between both parents to prevent them falling out of bed if they don’t want to purchase a guard rail. However, sleeping between parents increases the risk of SIDS.
Use a firm mattress
Babies need a firm mattress to sleep on. If your mattress is too soft, it may increase the risk of suffocation.
Remove slatted headboards
Slatted headboards pose a risk of SIDS and should be avoided.
Check trap risks
It’s important to check your child cannot become trapped; between the mattress and headboard, or in the bed frame, or between the bed and the wall.
Do not allow other children or pets to sleep in the bed
More bodies - whether human or animal - increases the risk of accidents.
Transitioning your baby to their own room after co-sleeping
Experts recommend that babies sleep in the same room as their parents until at least six months of age. After that point, you can transition them to their own room.
Check out our guide for more information and advice: When Should a Baby Sleep in Their Own Room? (And How to Transition Them)
FAQs
What if my partner falls asleep when breastfeeding?
If you or your partner is worried that they may fall asleep when breastfeeding, it’s best to prepare your bed in the ways outlined in the guide above to ensure the safest possible environment for your baby.
The good news is that breastfeeding actually reduces the risk of SIDS overall.
Can I co-sleep with twins or more?
Experts recommend never co-sleeping in a bed with more than one baby at a time.
Can I use a sleep pod to stop my baby falling out of bed?
No - products known as ‘sleep pods’ or ‘nests’ are often advertised as ways to ensure your child sleeps in a tight, comfortable environment. However, they pose greater suffocation risks and experts always recommend they are not used.
What bedding should I use when co-sleeping?
Babies should sleep with either using a swaddle blanket or a baby sleeping back or ‘sleep sack’.
Adult bedding and pillows can be used, but should be kept well away from your baby.
