Holy jokes, Batman...these Batman jokes and puns are hilarious!
Batman has historically been one of the first superheroes kids fall in love with. So it makes sense that we're here with some funny Batman jokes that even the Joker would be proud of!
And there's plenty of brilliant dad jokes material to play with, too - Batman and Robin, the Caped Crusader, the Dark Knight, Bruce Wayne, and of course his enemies, The Joker, Two Face, Penguin, Poison Ivy and Bane!
Just like our 101 hilarious Star Wars dad jokes, this list is great whether you're using them on new Batman fans or someone who knows the franchise inside out.
So here are 88 hilarious Batman jokes and puns for you to enjoy with your own little Caped Crusaders.
Table Of Contents
The best Batman jokes and puns
If you're wondering what to expect from a list of funny Batman jokes and puns, let's give you a preview... we're talking how many caped crusaders it takes to change a lightbulb, we're talking kung pow chicken, and well, plenty of bat puns.
1. What's the difference between Batman and a shoplifter?
Batman can go into a store without Robin.
2. What would be Batman doing if he wasn't rich?
Robin
3. What was Batman called when he was little?
Lil Wayne!
4. What did Batman bring to the party?
Just ice...
5. What do you call a blind Batman?
Christian Braille
6. What type of jokes does Batman like the most?
Dark humour.
7. Did you know Batman wasn't born in Gotham?
He was born in South Africa... Capetown to be exact!
8. Robin: Batman, the Batmobile won't start!
Batman: Check the battery...
Robin: What's an tery?
9. What did Batman buy at the store?
He got-ham!
10. What do you call it when Bruce Wayne forgets to pay the electricity bill?
A dark night.
11. Batman bought a French restaurant, but what did he call it?
The Creped Crusader!
12. What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car?
Robin, get in the car.
13. How many Caped Crusaders does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they like it dark!
14. What do you call Batman when he gets hurt?
Bruised Wayne.
15. What is Batman's favorite fruit?
Ba na na na na na na na na na na na na na!
16. How does Bat boy become Batman?
He has a Bat-Mitzvah.
17. What is Batman’s favorite drink?
Fruit Bat Punch.
18. What type of tea does Batman drink?
Vigilan-tea!
19. Why did Batman stop fighting crime?
It was the Bane of his life!
20. Who's the better businessman; Superman or Batman?
Well, have you ever heard of a batmarket?
21. What do you call it when Batman skips church?
Christian Bale!
22. How does Batman like his coffee?
Black, like the night.
23. Why does Batman wear a mask?
Because the citizens of Gotham aren't morons, like the citizens of Metropolis!
24. Why does Alfred always carry an umbrella outside?
In case it's a Wayne y day.
25. What do you get when you cross Batman with a tree?
Spruce Wayne!
26. What's Batman's favorite part of a joke?
The punch line!
27. Why doesn't Batman like going for walks in nature?
He's worried he'll run into Poison Ivy!
28. Who does Batman call when he gets arrested?
Christian Bail!
29. Why doesn't Batman play chess?
Because he will only play with the Dark Knight!
30. Why did Batman and Robin quit going fishing?
Because Robin ate all the worms...!
31. Why does Batman like Hawaiian pizza?
Because it got-ham!
32. Why doesn't Batman go to Robin's house?
Because they don't like rich people in Robin's hood.
33. What does Batman say when he's getting out of bed?
The Dark Knight rises!
34. Why did Batman rush to the Bat Cave?
He had to go to the bat room!
35. How do you get Batman into the Marvel Universe?
Hang him on the wall. Now he's a Bruce Banner...
36. Why is Batman always so serious?
Because he's not the Joker.
37. Why did Batman climb a tree?
To find Robin's nest!
38. Why does Batman wear dark colours?
Because Batman doesn't want to get shot.
39. Why does Robin wear bright colours?
Because Batman doesn't want to get shot.
40. What was Bruce Wayne's favorite food when he was a kid?
Alpha-bat-ti spaghetti!
41. Why did Mrs Batman call their son Gotham?
Because he always answers the call 'Gotham needs you'.
42. What do Bruce Wayne's friends say when he comes home from holiday?
Welcome Bat!
43. Why couldn't Batman send a message to Robin?
He didn't have any bat signal!
44. What do Batman and a set of false teeth have in common?
They only come out at night...
45. What is Batman's favorite Chinese dish?
Kung POW chicken!
46. Why did Batman's photos from the party come out dark?
He forgot to invite Flash!
47. What did Robin say when he was about to sneeze?
Holy Kleenex, Batman!
48. Why did Batman cross the road?
To get to the Batmobile on the other side.
49. Why did the cricket team want Bruce Wayne to play?
Because he's a great bat man.
50. Where does Batman's goldfish live?
In the bat-tub...
51. What is Batman's favorite type of exercise?
Acro-bat-ics!
52. What do Batman's friends call him when he ditches them at party?
Christian Bailed!
53. What does Batman say if he fails his mission?
Got-ham it!
54. What does Batman call his phone?
A bat mobile!
55. What does Batman call his friends who never phone?
Bat friends!
56. Why did Bruce Wayne's date end early?
He had bat breath...
57. What does Batman do when he's losing a game of cards?
He uses the Joker!
58. Why did Commissioner Gordon fail to get a second date?
He was sending bat signals...
59. What do you get if you cross Batman with an orange?
Juice Wayne.
60. What do you call it when Bruce Wayne sends a parcel back?
The Dark Knight Returns!
61. What did Mr Freeze do when Batman caught him?
He had a meltdown!
62. What did the loaf of bread say to Batman?
"Rye so serious?!"
63. What does Batman say if Alfred asks him if he'd like a sandwich?
"Got-ham?"
64. What does Batgirl wear to the superhero ball?
Her Dark Knight gown!
65. Why doesn't Batman like Mr Freeze?
Because he always gives him the cold shoulder.
66. Why is Two Face the most likeable villain?
Because he's only half-bad!
67. Why don't people invite Batman to parties?
He keeps hanging around, even when it's time to go!
68. Why did Batman ask Mr Freeze who styles his hair?
He thought he looked cool.
69. How does Batman discipline his naughty son?
"You're a bat boy!"
70. Why did Bruce Wayne get a new phone?
Because he dropped his old one in the BAThtub.
71. How does Batman apologise when he's late for a meeting?
"BATter late than never!"
72. What position does Bruce Wayne play on the baseball team?
He's a bat boy!
73. What do you call the Dark Knight when he’s running down the street in his underwear?
The Caped Crusader.
74. Why did Robin take Batman on a date with him?
Because Batman's a good wingman!
The best Batman one liners
Holy rusted metal, Batman! Who doesn't love a one-liner?! These Batman jokes require a little set-up, but they're no less funny!
75. Since they have Batman shampoo...
Why don't we have Conditioner Gordon?
76. When Batman doesn't use his utility belt...
...it's just a waist of equipment!
77. My girlfriend said I'm starting to annoy her because I relate everything to Batman...
...what a Joker!
78. I asked Netflix if they had Batman Forever...
...they said "no, just until the end of June".
79. Sixteen sodium atoms walk into a bar...
...followed by Batman.
80. On our 9th date, I took my girlfriend to see the new Batman film. So our dates went like this...
...dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, dinner, BATMAN!
81. My boss told me to 'dress for the job you want, not the job you have'....
...so I go to work dressed as Batman!
82. My wife asked who the new Batman is, so I told her it was Robert Pattinson. She said...
..."Oh, so vampires do turn into bats!"
83. Batman walks into a superhero-only pool, but he is quickly stopped by a guard...
...and the guard points to a sign that says, "No swimming without supervision."
84. Do you want to hear my Batman impression?
Sure...
'NOT THE KRYPTONITE!'
That's Superman!
Thanks I've been practicing a lot!
85. Alfred: Where've you been, Batman?
Batman: In the bathroom.
Alfred: What's a hroom?
86. Batman: It's been a long day, Alfred. Could you fill the bathtub?
Alfred: What's a htub?
87. Knock, knock! Who's there? Batman! Batman who? Batman is here to robin your Halloween candy!
88. Batman made Robin an avocado sandwich. Robin said...
..."holy moly guacamole, Batman!"
FAQs
Why do Batman jokes make great dad jokes?
Dad jokes are usually very light hearted - whereas Batman is naturally very dark. So the combination of the Dark Knight and dad jokes makes it a very interesting juxtaposition. But it works! Batman jokes are also packed with plenty of puns.
Are Batman jokes just for hardcore Batman fans?
Not at all. These jokes are designed for kids, so they're pretty simple to understand. Your child will need some knowledge of the Batman universe, but they should be able to get most of them!
