Poop. Was that enough to make you laugh? I honestly wouldn't be surprised.
There's something about poop jokes that people find hilarious. They're definitely in the class of 'dumb dad jokes'. Heck, there's something about poop that people find hilarious. Maybe it's because we get all weird and grossed out when we talk about poop. Maybe it's because it's smells horrible. Or maybe it's just the word.
If your kids are anything like mine, anything to do with poop is the funniest thing ever. We have Steve Smallman's Poo in the Zoo book series. We even have a poo bingo game!
Their attempts at comedy usually go something like this: 'Why is a sheep fluffy?.... Because pooped on his head!' .
So, these poop jokes are for my children. And your children, because I'm sure they love to laugh and joke about too. Let's be honest, the parents reading this are going to find them funny too.
Table Of Contents
The best poop jokes and poop puns for kids
These poop jokes are the crème de la crème of poop jokes. The poop de la poop, if you will.
Over the course of this section, you'll find out what you get when you poop in your overalls, what happened after I ate four cans of alphabet soup yesterday, and how a constipated mathematician got himself out of tricky situation!
If you're in need of a poop joke, this is the place to be!
1. What's big and brown and behind the wall?
Humpty's Dump
2. What do you get when you poop in your overalls?
Dung-arees!
3. Did you know that diarrhea is hereditary?
It's in your jeans!
4. Poop jokes aren't my favourite jokes...
...but they're a solid No.2.
5. Have you seen that new movie, 'Constipated'?
Me neither, it hasn't come out yet!
6. Have you seen the new movie Diarrhea?
It got leaked, so they just had to let it go...
7. What do you call a vegetarian with diarrhea?
A salad shooter!
8. Do you wanna hear a poop joke?
Never mind, it's probably too corny!
9. My love for you is like diarrhoea...
...I can't hold it in!
10. Did you know that when you say the word “poop”, your mouth does the same motion as your bum hole?
The same can be said for "explosive diarrhea"!
11. Every one criticises the Star Wars prequel trilogy. But do you know which one is the worst?
The turd one!
Related: 101 Hilarious Star Wars Dad Jokes
12. I ate four cans of alphabet soup yesterday...
...then I had the biggest vowel movement ever!
13. I told my wife that we've been together long enough now, we can poop with the door open...
...she told me I shouldn't be pooping in the car in the first place!
14. What do you call a magical poop?
Poodini!
15. I asked a farmer what he was doing with all that cow poop. He told me he was going to put it on his strawberries...
...I told him 'we normally put cream on strawberries around here'.
16. Where do cavemen poop?
In a neader-stall!
17. Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?
He worked it out with a pencil...
18. Did you hear about the constipated composer?
He had problems with his last movement!
19. Where do astronauts poop in space?
Uranus!
20. What's brown and firm?
The Brown Family Law Firm...
More funny poop jokes
The poop jokes just keep coming. And these are just as good as the last set...
21. If bears poop in the woods, is the smell...
...unbearable?
22. What did the one cat say to its funny friend?
"Stop making me laugh, you'll make me puma pants!"
23. Hanging upside down, one bat asks the other what the worst day of his life was...
...The other bat said, "the day I had diarrhea!"
24. Do you know the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain?
No?! So YOU are the one who keeps getting poop on the shower curtain!
25. What do you call it when King Charles farts?
A noble gas!
26. The doctor said she needed a stool sample and a urine sample from me...
...so I just gave her my underwear!
27. Did you know that people who study poop are called 'scatologists'?
I think they should be called 'turd nerds'.
28. What do politicians and diapers have in common?
They should be changed regularly because they're full of crap.
29. Why did the lady spot telling poop jokes?
Everyone said they stink!
30. How do you get rid of a poo smell from the house?
Use poopurri!
The smelliest of fart jokes
A poop joke and a fart joke are definitely part of the same family. Fart jokes are arguably poop jokes' less disgusted, but smellier, cousin.
31. Children are like farts...
...You can just about stomach your own. But you can stand other people's.
32. What did the poo say to the fart?
You blow me away!
33. What's the definition of a surprise?
A fart with a lump in it!
34. What's the German word for 'fart'?
"Farfrompoopin"*
*Disclaimer, it's not actually.
35. Love is a lot like a fart...
...it's no good if you have to force it!
36. Clown farts smell funny...
37. If pooping is 'nature calling', does that make farting...
...a missed call?
38. Why did the chicken cross the road?
The chicken next to him farted!
39. What's the true definition of bravery?
Chancing a fart when you have diarrhea!
40. What is a fart?
A lonely cry from an abandoned poop!
The very best bathroom jokes
'Toilet humour' or 'potty humour' are term usually used to describe any type of comedy that is literally poop jokes or metaphorical poop jokes - jokes so gross that they may as well be about poo...
Well, in this section toilet humour is actually all about toilets (and toilet paper!). You could also file these jokes under 'bathroom jokes'.
41. How do you get the bathroom unlocked in a hurry?
With a doo key!
42. A lot of people go to the bathroom like clockwork. Take me, for example, I always go at...
... poo-thirty!
43. What do you call a bathroom superhero?
Flush Gordon!
44. What does toilet paper have in common with parents?
They've both dealt with a lot of crap over the years!
45. Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?
To get to the bottom!
46. What did one piece of toilet paper say to the other at the end of the day?
'Maaan, I am wiped'
47. Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet?
To look for Pooh!
48. Why couldn't the toilet paper cross the road?
It got stuck in the crack!
49. What do you call a fairy in the toilet?
Stinkerbell!
50. Why do cops sit on the toilet all day?
It's their duty!
51. When does Denzel Washington have to hang out with the Rugrats?
On Potty Training Day!
52. Why couldn't the police officers find the toilet thief?
They had nothing to go on...!
53. I bought a toilet brush yesterday...
...turns out toilet paper is definitely better!
54. People say love is the best feeling ever...
...but those people have clearly never found a toilet just in time when they have diarrhea!
55. Why did the man bring toilet paper to the party?
Because he's a real party pooper!
56. What did one toilet say to the other?
"You're looking flushed!"
57. What does Superman call his bathroom?
A super-bowl!
58. Why doesn't Chuck Norris flush the toilet?
Because he scares the crap out of it!
59. What did Spock find in the toilets of the Starship Enterprise?
The Captain's Log.
60. You never know what you've got until it's gone...
...toilet paper is a great example!
Bum jokes
Bums, butts and bottoms. The source of poops and farts, they naturally go hand-in-hand with poop jokes!
61. Why do ducks have feathers?
To cover their butt quacks!
62. What did one butt cheek say to the other?
"Gross, what's that smell coming from the corridor?!"
63. Where should you keep a fake poo?
In the bottom drawer!
64. Why did the bum get a smack?
It was being cheeky!
65. Which does does your bum always want to be on?
The back side...
66. Why do superheroes wear their underwear on the outside?
To protect their bum!
Related:
77 Funny Superhero Jokes and Puns
61 Funny Spider-Man Jokes Spider-Man Himself Would Be Proud Of
67. Why didn't the bum want to play hide and seek?
It didn't want to be the butt of the joke!
68. Why did the bum break up with the heart?
It was tired of being dumped on!
69. Why do toilets and bums feel sad?
They're both tired of being sat on all day!
70. What did one butt cheek say to the other?
"Together, we can put an end to all this crap."
Funny euphemisms for pooping
With society deeming it inappropriate to tell someone you need to poop, people have come up with plenty of metaphors and euphemisms for pooping. And here are some of our favourites.
1. Bake a loaf
2. Blow mud
3. Bomb the bowl
4. Build a dookie castle
5. Chop a log
6. Cook a burrito
7. Curl some pipe
8. Do the Royal Squat
9. Drop a deuce
10. Drop the kids off at the pool
11. Dump a stump
12. Fill the peanut butter jar
13. Float a trout
14. Grow a tail
15. Launch a torpedo
16. Lay a brick
17. Make a deposit at the porcelain bank
18. Make room for lunch
19. Park some bark
20. Plant some corn
21. Poke the turtle's head out
22. Sink the Bismark
23. Sit on the throne
24. Squeeze the cheese
25. Cutting rope
26. Build a log cabin
27. Make like Snoop and 'Drop it like it's hot'.
28. Unloose the caboose
29. See a man about a horse
30. Craft a fudge pop.
FAQs
Why do people find a poop joke funny?
There's something about poop (and farts) that just send kids (and parents) into hysterics. Maybe because it comes all different shapes and sizes, and smells really bad. Maybe it's the fact that it's quite a private thing that we all do, so we joke about it to make it less awkward. Maybe it's just the word. Poop. It's quite a funny word, isn't it?!
What other words are there for poop?
Crap, doo-doo, dookie, dump, dung, excrement, faeces, Hershey squirts, log, manure, number two, stool, turd.
What's a clean poop?
We might not be able to list this under poop jokes, but poop facts can definitely be funny. If you're not familiar with the term 'clean poop', it's the type of poop that leave the toilet paper totally clean after wiping...!
