Some people love it while others loathe it. One thing's for certain, though - you can't escape Valentine's Day when it comes around on February 14.
Not everyone can be a gushing romantic heartthrob, but that doesn't mean you can't show the person you love how you feel. In fact, comedy is the key to a lot of people's hearts. And so, Valentine's Day jokes are the ideal solution to make sure your Valentine's Day is filled with fun and laughter.
Telling dad jokes are an excellent activity for most occasions, whether it's something season like Christmas dad jokes and Halloween dad jokes, or something topical like Star Wars dad jokes and LEGO dad jokes.
Whether you're writing a card to your partner, a Dad making sure his child gets a Valentine this year, or you just want to have a laugh with the family in the lead up to the big day itself, these are some of the best Valentine's Day jokes around.
And who knows, you might find some inspiration for your Valentine's Day card with these funny Valentine's Day jokes!
Table Of Contents
Hilarious Valentine's Day jokes to tell your kids
These make for brilliant Valentine's Day dad jokes that you can share with your children while you're goofing around, or even put in a sweet Valentine's Day card from you to them.
If you want to include something a little more inspirational in your Valentine's Day card, take a look at these father-daughter quotes or 100 inspirational quotes from fathers to their children.
1. What did the painter tell his girlfriend?
I love you with all my art!
2. What did the calculator say to the pencil?
"You can always counts on me!"
3. What did the paper clip say to the magnet?
You're very attractive!
4. What did the romantic cat tell his girlfriend on Valentine's Day?
"You're purrrrrrr-fect."
5. What did one watermelon say to the other on Valentine's Day?
"You're one in a melon!"
6. How did the phone propose to his girlfriend?
He gave her a ring!
7. Why did the dad approve of his daughter's goalie-boyfriend?
He was a real keeper!
8. What are the worst flowers to get your valentine?
Cauliflowers
9. What did the blueberry say to the strawberry on Valentine's Day?
"I love you berry much!"
10. What do you call two birds in love?
Tweethearts!
11. What did the stamp say to the envelope?
"I'm stuck on you!"
12. How did the boy bee ask out the girl bee?
He said, "will you bee mine?".
13. What did the boy bee say to his girlfriend on Valentine's Day?
"I love bee ing with you, honey!"
14. What did the whale say to his crush on Valentine's Day?
"Whale you be mine?"
15. What do you call a very small valentine?
A valen tiny!
16. What type of shape is most popular on Valentine's Day?
A cute triangle.
17. What do pigs say to each other on Valentine's Day?
"Happy valen swine's day"
18. How do vampires know if they had a successful Valentine's Day?
If it's love at first bite!
19. What do scientists say to their valentines?
"I think about you periodically".
20. What did the cucumber say to the pickle on Valentine's Day?
"I love you a great dill!"
21. What did the one sheep say to the other on Valentine's Day?
"I love ewe"
22. What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus on Valentine's Day?
"I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand."
23. What does an owl say on Valentine's Day?
"Owl be yours!"
24. What did the flame say to the other flame on Valentine's Day?
"We're a perfect match!"
25. What did one volcano say to the other on Valentine's Day?
"I lava you!"
26. What do you call it when fish are in love?
Guppy love
27. What did the turtle say to his girlfriend on Valentine's Day?
"I turt ally love you"
28. Did Adam and Eve ever go on a date?
No, they had an apple
29. What do you call sweets that can't keep a beat?
Candy rappers!
30. Why didn't the dogs make any plans for Valentine's Day?
It was just puppy love!
Corny Valentine's Day jokes and Valentine's Day one liners
Whether it's a super corny joke or a brilliant one liner. These Valentine's Day jokes are perfect no matter the audience.
31. Did you know that skunks celebrate Valentine's Day? They're very scent imental...
32. What did the oar say to the other oar on Valentine's Day?
"This is so row-mantic!"
33. Who always has a date for Valentine's Day?
A calendar!
34. Why didn't the skeleton send any Valentine's Day cards this year?
His heart wasn't in it!
35. Sorry I couldn't get you your Valentine's Day gift on time. It's choco late!
36. What did the boy squirrel say to the girl squirrel on Valentine's Day?
"I'm nuts about you!"
37. What did the girl squirrel say back?
"You're nutso bad yourself!"
38. Which flowers did the squirrel give his girlfriend for Valentine's Day?
Forget me nuts.
39. What did the ghost say to his crush on Valentine's Day?
"Will you be my ghoul friend?"
40. And what did the ghost say when she said 'yes'?
"You look BOOtiful!"
41. What do you write in a slug's Valentine's Day card?
"Will you be my valenslime?"
42. Never date a pastry chef. They'll always dessert you!
43. Which song did the romantic dad sing after he got a paper cut?
"I keep bleeding, I keep, keep bleeding love!" (Make sure you sing it!)
44. What did one light bulb say to the other light bulb on Valentine's Day?
"I love you a whole watt!"
45. The police are on their way to arrest you... because you stole my heart!
46. What do you call a colorful heart that loves books?
Well red...
Valentine's Day knock knock jokes
Who doesn't love a bunch of good knock knock jokes?! These Valentine's Day knock knock jokes will have your family rolling on the floor laughing (or rolling their eyes).
47. Knock knock! Who's there? Luke! Luke who? Luke who finally got a valentine!
48. Knock knock! Who's there? Bea! Bea who? Bea my Valentine!
49. Knock knock! Who's there? Peas! Peas who? Peas will you be my valentine?
50. Knock knock! Who's there? Howard! Howard who? Howard you like to be my valentine?
51. Knock knock! Who's there? Al! Al who? Al be your valentine, if you'll be mine!
52. Knock knock! Who's there? Arthur! Arthur who? Arthur any chocolates left for me?!
53. Knock knock! Who's there? Olive! Olive who? Olive you so much!
Hilarious Valentine's Day jokes to share with your partner
These Valentine's Day jokes are better suited to sharing with your partner, whether you're writing it in your Valentine's Day card or laughing over a drink after the kids have gone to bed.
54. What's Cupid's favorite band?
KISS!
55. What's the best way to save money this Valentine's Day?
Be single...
56. What did the chef give to his wife on Valentine's Day?
A hug and a quiche!
57. What did the woman with a broken leg tell her valentine?
I've got a crutch on you!
58. "Seeing as it's Valentine's Day, I thought we'd do head up to the bedroom when the kids are asleep and do something we haven't been able to in a while... sleep!"
59. What do you say to your single friends on Valentine's Day?
Happy Independence Day!
60. What is it called when your aunt runs off to get married on Valentine's Day?
Aunt-elope.
61. After many years of marriage, what did the match say to the other match on Valentine's Day?
"We need to keep the flame alive"
62. Love is like peeing your pants – everyone can see it but only you can feel it. Thanks for being the pee in my pants!
63. I've booked us a table for Valentine's Day. I hope you know how to play pool!
64. What do you say to a coffee lover on Valentine's Day?
"I can't espresso how much I love you."
65. I was going to get you a Valentine's gift but it's still at the store. They do say 'it's the thought that counts', after all!
FAQs
When is Valentine's Day?
Valentine's Day is celebrated annually on February 14, regardless of what day of the week it is.
How did Valentine's Day start?
Valentine's Day, or Saint Valentine's Day, originated as a Christian celebration to honour the martyr Saint Valentine of Rome. According to legend, Saint Valentine was persecuted by the Roman Empire for performing weddings for Christian soldiers who were banned from getting married.
Over the centuries, the date and story became more aligned with romantic love. By the 18th century, it became an annual celebration for people to express their love for one another.
What makes a hilarious Valentine's Day joke?
Some people lament Valentine's Day for how corny and cringey it can be. But that's exactly what makes the perfect Valentine's Day joke. It needs to capture the toe-curling (and cuter) side of love, relying heavily on some excellent puns from the natural world.
